Adoption and being an orphan starts with loss, loss of her birth parents, country, special Nanny, etc. It's hard and heartbreaking. Ivy has lived in the orphanage
her whole life. She has attached to
possibly multiple nannies. And we are
taking her away from everything she has ever known. To her, every person in her life will leave at
some point. And she will think no
different of Jason and I. Ivy will be
leaving everything that is familiar to her: language, climate, familiar faces,
food, culture, routine, environment, smells and sights, and familiar caregivers. This is a lot to ask of a baby…even though
she will be getting so much love, she needs to learn how to love in return and
what it is to be a part of a family.
We wanted to
take a moment to explain why things will be different in the coming months then
when we brought Dawson, Jayden, and Hallie home from the hospital. One being the obvious, this is an
adoption. Two, because our greatest
responsibility in the coming months is to give Ivy every opportunity to firmly
attach to us. This is more important
than we can express. Adopted children
are at a great risk for attachment disorders and we need to do everything in
our power to enable her to attach to us hard and quickly.
That said, here
are some boundaries that must be set:
-
Jason and I will be the only ones that meet
Ivy’s needs (holding, feeding, diaper changes, soothing when hurt or sad,
etc). She needs to learn that her
parents meet her needs.
-
Ivy
will not be cared for by anyone other than Jason and I for quite a long time,
this includes the nursery at church.
-
Jason
or I will be with Ivy 24 hours a day.
-
We
know this one is hard but…if you ask us to hold Ivy…the answer is no. We know you all love her and want to show her
your love, but it is not the best for her.
When the time is right, we will let you know when it is safe to hold
her.
-
If
you see us out and about in the coming months, please walk up to us slowly and
please try not to touch Ivy.
Developmentally,
Ivy is a baby and we will be nurturing her like she is a newborn. She missed out on the vital nurturing that a
Mommy and Daddy do in those first months of life. So we will be doing lots of cuddling,
carrying, bottle feeding, playing, napping, and overall loving on her.
If you feel
moved to help…meals is so appreciated and a great way to bless us! We just ask that you be ready to drop the
meal off at the door.
Also, with the
holidays approaching in the coming months, please understand if we are missing
this year. We may be spending some much
needed family bonding time at home this holiday.
We can’t thank everyone
enough for the support through these last 18 months and are blessed to have you
in our lives. As always, we ask for your
prayers as we introduce this princess to her brothers and sister and what it is to be in a family.
With lots of
love,
Jason, Dawn, and Kids