Adoption and being an orphan starts with loss, loss of her birth parents, country, special Nanny, etc. It's hard and heartbreaking. Ivy has lived in the orphanage her whole life. She has attached to possibly multiple nannies. And we are taking her away from everything she has ever known. To her, every person in her life will leave at some point. And she will think no different of Jason and I. Ivy will be leaving everything that is familiar to her: language, climate, familiar faces, food, culture, routine, environment, smells and sights, and familiar caregivers. This is a lot to ask of a baby…even though she will be getting so much love, she needs to learn how to love in return and what it is to be a part of a family.
We wanted to take a moment to explain why things will be different in the coming months then when we brought Dawson, Jayden, and Hallie home from the hospital. One being the obvious, this is an adoption. Two, because our greatest responsibility in the coming months is to give Ivy every opportunity to firmly attach to us. This is more important than we can express. Adopted children are at a great risk for attachment disorders and we need to do everything in our power to enable her to attach to us hard and quickly.
That said, here are some boundaries that must be set:
- Jason and I will be the only ones that meet Ivy’s needs (holding, feeding, diaper changes, soothing when hurt or sad, etc). She needs to learn that her parents meet her needs.
- Ivy will not be cared for by anyone other than Jason and I for quite a long time, this includes the nursery at church.
- Jason or I will be with Ivy 24 hours a day.
- We know this one is hard but…if you ask us to hold Ivy…the answer is no. We know you all love her and want to show her your love, but it is not the best for her. When the time is right, we will let you know when it is safe to hold her.
- If you see us out and about in the coming months, please walk up to us slowly and please try not to touch Ivy.
Developmentally, Ivy is a baby and we will be nurturing her like she is a newborn. She missed out on the vital nurturing that a Mommy and Daddy do in those first months of life. So we will be doing lots of cuddling, carrying, bottle feeding, playing, napping, and overall loving on her.
If you feel moved to help…meals is so appreciated and a great way to bless us! We just ask that you be ready to drop the meal off at the door.
Also, with the holidays approaching in the coming months, please understand if we are missing this year. We may be spending some much needed family bonding time at home this holiday.
We can’t thank everyone enough for the support through these last 18 months and are blessed to have you in our lives. As always, we ask for your prayers as we introduce this princess to her brothers and sister and what it is to be in a family.
With lots of love,Jason, Dawn, and Kids